My Vietnam Lover Du Jour!

Well, in a Soul respect that is darlings...

The young Vietnamese man paused for a moment before asking me if I'd come to Vietnam because of him, pointing to the man on the cover of the book I was holding. The book, ‘Kitchen Confidential’. The man, Anthony Bourdain. The late, great, Anthony Bourdain. The renegade, New York truth popping, bad boy of the chefing world. And though the answer I gave to him was no that’s not why I’m in Vietnam, there's something to his question that lingered under my skin for a few days.

We’d had a good chat, me and the guy, whose name is Son, which he told me meant mountain in Vitenamese. When I asked him if that was him, a mountain, solid, reliable, quiet, he just laughed. But after speaking with him for some time I’d like to say that yes he is, his name suits him.

I’d started the conversation. Sat outside the Blackbird cafe, the coffee shop that very quickly became a favourite. Which sure was handy as it was pretty much directly across from our hotel in the Old Quarter of Hanoi.

A gentle hello. An explanation about using the word ‘pleasant’ to describe the weather that day, as it was indeed, pleasant. A conversation about Vietnamese folk getting married at the age of 24/25 and how high the divorce rates are these days. He talked about his 2 year-old daughter, and his father-in-law, a famous artist apparently, who goes off on months long sojourns to God knows where, without his phone and thus any means of contact before coming home again, selling more art to fancy Japanese hotels and doing it all again. Noticing a book on someone’s chair nearby, I asked Son if it said ‘The Psychology of Money’ on the cover. He said yes. I replied that I’d read it and he noted it down with interest, wondering if it would be helpful to him, being a fashion promoter for his 2 clothing lines, designed apparently for YOUNG people, he pointedly told me, you know, the 18-30 bracket. Bless them.

Having learned that I read Tarot, I read for him. He pulled the 3 of Cups, the card of friendship and celebration. I kid you not, he had tears in his eyes as he smiled at me with gentleness and told me that it was so true and that I was the first person he had EVER spoken with in a coffee shop as he ususally just works! I was moved by how touched he was.

That’s when I introduced him to Anthony.

I, like many, was shocked and saddened to hear of Bourdain’s sudden death 6 years ago at the age of 61 ~ Overdose? Suicide? Killed off for encouraging his partner Asia Argento to speak up and out against that vile Weinstein predator??

Who knows.

I watched the documentary Roadrunner when it came out. An intimate and honest account of his life, and the people who he had touched. I highly recommend it darlings.

In many ways I hadn’t really thought about Bourdain over the years, but he’s been very present with me over the last week or so, you know, whilst I’ve been in Vietnam.

Otherwise, why would I be watching his Vietnamese culinary journey through various episodes on YouTube?

Why would I be collecting image quotes of his from Pinterest?

And why did I seek out his radical and controversial (at the time), 2000 book 'Kitchen Confidential' in a local bookshop to read whilst in Hanoi?

He got under my skin.

Mister Bourdain was a true visionary in how he lived his life. One of the things he said has always stayed with me (though trying to find said words to share with you in exactitude seems to be eluding me!). He was talking about how being a TV star, making the many versions of his culinary adventurings for us to watch in the comfort of our own homes, meant very little to him as far as being a celebrity was concerned. Nope. For him these were merely a vehicle for his practice, his true practice. That of showing the world all manner of cultures and voices and stories that would otherwise never be told.

You could call him a revolutionary and you would be correct.

As troubled as he was, and he really was, he was a genius ~ a flawed, vocal, passionate, no-bullshit talking and taking, rebellious creative genius, who was an ambassador for the lives of the common people. He famously sat with Obama (yeh, the former president) in a very ordinary, low-key, local restaurant, Bún Chả Hương Liên, eating the tres traditional Bún Chả (a popular Vietnamese dish of grilled pork and noodles with grilled fatty pork over a plate of white rice noodles and herbs with a side dish of dipping sauce). They chewed the fat, so to speak, and the simple act of them coming together in a non-fancy, local, cheap eatery, was part of the humility that Mister Bourdain scattered around in his wake.

Sure, he was full of ego, and he would be the first to acknowledge that fact. And he could piss folk off in a flash. He was a fast talker, told it how it was, and yet, he was a philosopher too. I mean, how can you not be?! You’re travelling, sharing food, hearing snippets from people’s lives. You’ve got to be changed by this, right?! You’ve got to be brought to your metaphorical knees in awe.

I’ve often said that all people should get to experience travelling, at least for a month, to some place completely different. To have your mind blown. To understand that there are so many ways to live and be. To learn what’s important. To view life beyond the narrow edges of your street, and these days, the small rectangle of your mobile phone screen. This is what reminds us of our humanness and connections, despite what seems like such unfathomable differences.

He was vulnerable too.

I recall watching one of the episodes from one of his series, when he was in Buenos Aires, Argentina, a city I had personally fallen in love with in 2009. To the point that I stayed a month in a lil apartment in the city, looked for work, made friends at the Milongas (Tango halls to you) and considered a life living in one of those apartments with a veranda and huge French windows whereby I’d be supping red wine all afternoon, writing, reading, musing in fabulous conversations with friends and generally observing life on the streets. Not the best idea I’d ever had in reality when the country was struggling economically at the time and the life of being a digital nomad was not something one did.

Anyways, back to Anthony.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that there are a disproportionate number of psychotherapists in Buenos Aires. I don’t know why but there are. Most people are in analysis. And so, familiar with the states of suffering by simply being born, he went for a session. It was very revealing. He spoke of his demons and the vulnerability of being human.

The thing is, he found life difficult, and famously said that his life got even more challenging and ironically worse after he cleaned himself up and came off Heroin! Personally, I think he was one of these sensitive souls, an avatar of generosity and kindness, someone here to wake folk up, with a slap if necessary, and to shed light. Sadly, it’s often the ones whose purpose purports to this that find life the most perplexing.

Why am I writing about him? Why was I showing this sweet Vietnamese guy his book?

For a few reasons, I think.

Firstly, he absolutely adored Vietnam.

It was one of his favourite countries that he returned to many times. So, it makes sense to be thinking of him as I’m here.

Secondly, there is something about his Spirit that has drawn me in, that light that I mentioned. The fact that he made up his own rules a lot of the time. That he was a wild soul, a wild son ~ if you’re to use archetypal language. He fucked up royally. He was a dick. Yet there was something about how turned on he was for the passion for food and those who loved food too that I find incredibly inspiring.

And the fact that he was drawn to stories. How he, like myself, held deep wonder, curiosity and awe, for the walking archive each and every one of us is. He wanted to hear these stories. It was necessary for his soul I believe.

Sometimes the light of people’s life flame burns out super quick. Maybe that’s down to the amount of life they’ve lived and how fast and how deep and intense and fully onboard they are whilst living it. I don’t know. I believe sometimes there are people put on this earth that are here to wake us the fuck up! There was no half-life for Bourdain. That was never an option.

I’m on the road. Travelling. An artist. So too passionate about people and culture and stories and living with the breadth and depth that I can be capable of. Or at least I’m learning how to.

So, I’m enjoying playing with all things Anthony. Feeling his essence as I travel this beautiful country, with its most gentlest of people, its huge heart.

Yeh. Vietnam has got under my skin too.

I’ll be raising my glass of Halong Beer to you later Mister Bourdain!

Right, I’m hungry now. Off to find some Pho!

Tạm biệt my darlings! Keep sharing your stories.

X

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